<html><img src="douche-alone.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(Oh, <<display 'Girl1'>>, [[why are you doing this to me?|The End]])\n
<html><img src="douche-in-prison.png" /></html>\n\nThe End.\n\n[[Credits]]
A Reverse Dating Simulator.
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<display 'StorySubtitle'>>\n\n[[Start|Begin]]\n[[Credits]]
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(I can't believe I actually found someone online who's selling their ticket! My beloved <<display 'Girl1'>> will be thrilled to run into me!)\n<<set $soldOnline = true>>\n(Oh, it is almost time. [[I better get going.]])\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(Ah, what a beautiful day. And there she is, her skirt moving in the breeze… oh god, I can almost see her panties! I should ask her out again, or someone else might cock block me!)\n\n<<if $conned>>\n"Looking forward to the concert tonight, eh?"\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[["Yes, definitely." (I'm gonna try selling the tickets online)|Try selling the tickets online]]\n[[Ignore him and ask a friend to go with you to the concert.|ask a friend2]]\n<<else>>\n"Hey there gorgeous, wanna go to the movies together?"\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[Ignore him.|Another Excuse]]\n[[Make up another excuse.|Another Excuse]]\n[[This has gone far enough. Report him to campus security.|Far Enough]]\n\n<<endif>>
<<silently>>\n\n<<if $creepName>>\n do nothing. (this entire thing does not work by the way.)\n<<else>>\n <<set $creepName = prompt("What's your name?")>>\n<<endif>>\n\n<<endsilently>><html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(This Girl is called <<display 'Girl1FullName'>>. Sometimes I imagine we were childhood friends. She would live across the street and we'd have known each other since preschool.)\n\n"Hi. Didn't see you at history class."\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[Ignore Him.|Compliment - Ugh]]\n[["Hi. What do you want?"|Begin - What do you want?]]\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n"I've got two tickets for this punk concert tomorrow night, wanna go?"\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[Make up an excuse|Compliment - Ugh]]\n[[Try to con him out of both tickets.|Thanks - Con]]\n[["Yeah, I don't think so, creep!"|Compliment - Ugh]]\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\nA collaboration between [[Jeremy Lonien|http://ludonaut.de/]] and [[Matthias Conrady|http://cynik.de/]].\n\n''<<display 'StoryTitle'>>'' was created with Love, [[Twine|http://gimcrackd.com/etc/src/]] and [[this excellent guide by Anna Anthropy|http://auntiepixelante.com/twine/]] in a couple of days for the [[Ludum Dare #25 Game Jam|http://ludumdare.com/]]. The theme was 'You are the Villain'.\n\nThanks to: [[Dominik Johann|http://dominikjohann.de]].\n\n[[Copywhatever|http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/]] 2012 Jeremy Lonien and Matthias Conrady.\n\n[[Back|StartCopy]]\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $soldOnline>>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(Wait a minute… Isn't that… __that's <<display 'Girl1'>>__! She was the contact who sold me the ticket! I can't believe this! That bitch sold my sweet-ass gift!)\n\n"Wha... you fucking whore."\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[Oh god. Better call the cops.]]\n\n<<else>>\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(The band'll start playing soon. Ah, over there is <<display 'Girl1'>> <<if $friendOfGirl>>and she's got a cute friend with her<<endif>>!)\n\n"Hello there. Surprised to see me?"\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[Ok, this guy is definitely stalking me. Better get out of here.|stalk]]\n\n<<endif>>
Field Report
______._\n / / \s \s\n / / / /\n \s \s\n \s \s____.\n / / \s\s\n / @ \s / \s,\n / \s/ \s___ _______\n \s____/ \s `--------' `-,\n ;; | `__\n | ~, \s\n | | ; \s\n | | ),/\n \s /\n / \s. | |\n / / \s / \s /\n / / | / `~~~~~~~~~~~'\s /\n / / | | |\s |\n \s \s | | | | |\n \s \s | | | | |\n \s \s | | | | (\n \s-L | | | | |\n \sZ | | | | |\n | | | | |\n |__| |_|__| valkyrie\n |/\s/ |/|/\s/\n\n\nhttp://www.ludumdare.com/compo/2012/12/15/dont-forget-to-hide-a-goat-in-your-source-code/
Kimiko Tanaka
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(Wow, she's playing games. This girl is //so// into me! I love it!)\n\n[[The next day...]]\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(A maybe is better than nothing, I guess. Oh right, I bought her a teddy bear as a gift. Bitches love gifts.)\n\n"Here, this is for you."\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[This creep won't stop. I better call campus security.|Far Enough]]\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n"You look cute with that necklace. It really matches your eye color."\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[["Ugh, I told you, stop talking to me!"|Compliment - Ugh]]\n[["Thanks. It was a gift from my mother."|Compliment - Thanks]]\n[["It really doesn't."|Compliment - Ugh]]\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(Yeah, she accepted my gift! This is going perfectly!)\n\n"Okay, cool. Have fun at the concert!"\n\n(Of course we'll run into each other there, she just doesn't know I'm going to buy another ticket for myself online! This will be a great first date!)\n<<set $conned = true>>\n[[The next day...]]
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\nWhoa, she called me a creep, //again//?! Maybe she's not into me after all? How is this even possible? What is happening?\n\n"I.. don't understand. I thought we had something, <<display 'Girl1'>>."\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[That's it. Call campus security.|Far Enough]]\n
/* webfont. god, I hope this works */\n@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Monda:400,700);\n\n/* better nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure */\n* {\n font-family: 'Monda', sans-serif;\n font-size: 100% !important;\n}\n\n/* hide some stuff */\n#snapback,\n#share,\n#credits,\n#titleSeparator,\n#storyAuthor {\n display: none;\n}\n\n/* center out story, ffs */\nBODY {\n position: relative;\n width: 600px;\n margin: auto;\n margin-top: 4em;\n}\n\n#passages {\n margin-left: 0 !important;\n}\n\n#sidebar {\n position: absolute;\n margin-left: -22.5em;\n}\n\n#sidebar #title #storyTitle {\n font-size: 2.8em !important;\n}\n\na.internalLink, a.externalLink { color: #03EBFF; }\na.internalLink:hover, a.externalLink:hover { color: #03EBFF; }
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(Oh man, that Ticket I had to buy for myself last minute was really fucking expensive. My beloved <<display 'Girl1'>> will be thrilled to see me.)\n<<set $friendOfGirl = true>>\n(Oh, it is almost time. [[I better get going.]])
<<silently>>FUCK YOU TWINE<<endsilently>><<display 'Start'>>
<html><img src="douche-alone.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(As usual, those campus security assholes wouldn't belive me. They even called the cops this time. Oh, <<display 'Girl1'>>, [[why are you doing this to me?|The End]])
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(This confirms my suspicions, she's playing hard-to-get with me.)\n\n"Another time, maybe?"\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[Maybe.]]\n[[Not a chance, creep!]]\n[[This has gone far enough. Report him to campus security.|Far Enough]]\n
<html><img src="douche.png" /></html>\n<<if $creepName>>''<<print $creepName>>:''<<else>>''<<display 'douche'>>:''<<endif>>\n\n(She grabbed her friend and ran away. I think I might have spooked her. I should pursue and think of some cheesy apology.)\n\n(It's pretty dark already. Ah, there she is. Her friend seems to have gone home.)\n\n"Wanna go back inside?"\n\n''<<display 'Girl1'>>:''\n\n[[Oh god. Better call the cops.]]
by Jeremy Lonien & Matthias Conrady